Friday, February 10, 2012

Turning South

One year ago on February 9, 2011 I had an interview for an internship with the City Manager of Centerville. As I pulled out to the street when I was leaving city hall I looked south toward Bountiful and thought to myself I should go see my dad and tell him about my interview. I knew he was home because he had been feeling tired and sick for a few days and finally decided to stay home to go to the doctor. Instead, I turned north to get to freeway and go home.

The next day he died.

I don't remember the last time I talked to my dad, but I will always have a vivid memory of the last time I had a chance to talk to him. As I looked south I can still see the street  in my mind with the yellow-green dorment grass poking through the spotty snow, the barren trees, a grey sky and a road vanishing in the distance. I don't remember the last words he said to me, but I will always have this image in my mind of a last opportunity lost.

Do I regret not turning to the south? No... There was no way of knowing that in less than 24 hours I would be in a hospital emergency room helping my brother give him a blessing, and praying for a miracle as the nurses and doctors stop chest compressions. I am saddened to think that I could have taken the opportunity to see my dad one last time, but I don't waste time regretting what happened. I thought I was doing what was best. I thought he needed his rest and I didn't want to bother him. So I turned north.

I am left to wonder what would have happened if I had turned to the south. I miss my dad. I really miss sharing my life with him.